Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
