I heard we made out
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Randomize
