Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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