Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
