Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Slut skills are useful in every country.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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