i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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