508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
