I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
