Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Randomize
