bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
