you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
