brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
