Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
