Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think your dad took our porno
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
