just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
