I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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