So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
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and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
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you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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