Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
