You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize