Porn is love you can see.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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