cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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