Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize