bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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