I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
