You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
