I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
