lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it