glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours