is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
