Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
