we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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