About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
