If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
