I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
