I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
