Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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