Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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