Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
