Plan B is the new Plan A
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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