this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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