I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
