Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
