please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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