What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize