she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Your cock deserves a montage
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.