at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize