Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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