"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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