He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
