I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just gargled with NyQuil
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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