so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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