this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think my vagina is haunted
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize