Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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