We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
