I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
