how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize