The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
