8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we made out on top of his cat.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
