Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
