i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
im holly from the hills drunk
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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