She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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