She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
two words: eviction party
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
