i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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