with your own penis?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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