It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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