Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
