lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wish i was in the wii world.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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