Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
