my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
