Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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