Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Two words: blizzard sex
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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