been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
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He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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