so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
