I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
