Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least š
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
āOn a breakā is implied when itās a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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